Code: Music
by dying english
Summary: Another Voltaire song. Yumi deals with her grandmother's death and various other tragedies in her life with a sound philosophy. Read and review! guest staring George W. Bush!
1. Transvestites can be cannibals too

Transvestites can be cannibals too

A Manish looking woman was inspecting the potatoes at the super market. A group of high school kids stared at her as she tested their weight.

"Hey freak!" One of them shouted.

The "woman" looked up just as a half empty coke bottle hit her in the chest, splashing her with sticky liquid. She gasped in shock and anger as the group roared with laughter.

_Don't like the way that I look in my own clothes  
So I wear my wife's when I go into town  
You think it's gross when I'm wearing a pantyhose  
You think I'm sick yeah you call me a clown  
_

"Bulls eye!" The kid who threw the bottle cheered.

The woman stormed off to the woman's restroom to clean herself up. She stared at herself at the mirror and muttered angrily as she ripped some paper towels out of the dispenser and dabbed the stain on her shirt. She then tugged at her hair and the brown wig she was wearing came off, revealing short blond hair with purple highlights. She, was in fact a he. Odd Dela Robbia. He wasn't gay as those kids outside thought. He just felt more comfortable in his wife's clothes. A small voice in the back of his head whispered._ Those little fucks! How dare they treat you like that! You know what we do to those kind of people……_

_I think I may I might have human tonight  
Don't come to me because I'm coming to you  
I think I may I might have you for a bite  
I'm gonna to cook me up some heman stew  
'cause transvestites can be cannibals too  
and I'll feel better after I eat you  
'cause I hate people when they're not polite  
If you end up on my table then it serves you right!  
_

"Yes…..I do…." He whispered.

-Later that night-

"Harry! Take out the garbage!" A woman's voice called from the downstairs apartment.

A teenage boy groaned from his bedroom and walked down the hall towards the kitchen. He grabbed the large plastic bag and carried it down the driveway. He dropped it in the garbage can and turned to walk back to the house when he saw a figure in his peripheral vision. It was that freak from the market.

"Hey what do you want? Huh? Get outta here freak!" He yelled to the person.

_And when I was young I wore my sister's clothes  
I liked to paint my nails and I had secrets no one knows  
But now that I'm grown up I cook dinner for my wife  
I still carry my secrets along with a butcher's knife   
_

He started to yell something else but he stopped when he saw a glimmer in the street light. It was a vicious looking butcher's knife.

_  
I hate the popular people cause I ain't popular  
I hate these words tomorrow cause I'm bipolar  
it's ok to be different unless your all by yourself  
you think your so special but your just like everyone else  
_

"Hey- wha, what are you gonna do with that?" Harry chocked out.

Odd smiled in the darkness. He calmly (and expertly) walked up to the teen wearing black stilettos. The teenager quickly turned to leave but was stopped by a sharp pain in his shoulder.

He fell and his hand fluttered to his shoulder. He gasped as he felt hot, wet blood. He looked up and saw the grinning cross-dresser like some blood off of the blade, then the next thing he saw was a swift heeled kick to the face and then…..darkness.

_  
I just don't understand the reason why I said why can't I be a bigger man and walk away when you tear me down and make me feel like I'm worth nothing, but then again I'm sure that you deserve what you'll be getting   
And when I was young I wore my sister's clothes  
I liked to paint my nails and I had secrets no one knows  
But now that I'm grown up I cook dinner for my wife  
I still carry my secrets along with a butcher's knife  
_

----A few hours later----

Harry awoke in total darkness.

"Welcome," a familiar voice said "to my humble home."

Harry tried to move but he couldn't. A light clicked on and he saw he was tied to a chair in a basement. The cross dresser was standing less then a foot away from him. Hanging from the ceiling by hooked chains were severed body parts and an assortment of knives and other cruel looking instruments lay neatly on a table next to his kidnapper.

_  
So you don't like being tied up?  
Well, I don't like being mean  
You're so shallow-minded you think I'm only what you see  
Take me out of the herd and put out on display in front of your friends  
Not knowing this mistake will lead to your miserable end  
_

"Please ma'am, mister whatever, please doesn't hurt me! I'll do anything!" Harry whimpered.

_"How dare he!" _the voice in Odd's head sneered. _"How dare he beg you for his life after the way he treated you! Show him wha_t _we do to his kind Odd!"_

Odd ginned evilly as he began cutting into Harry's flesh. Harry screamed for hours until his screams finally died with him.

_  
I'm rude, I'm ugly, And I'm everything you hate  
And I'm here, tonight, to put you on my plate  
I don't care for your opinion I don't want your point of view  
Tonight I'll have a feast with compliments to you  
_

"Odd! I'm home honey!" Aelita Dela Robbia called as she walked into their house.

"Hey baby, you're early!" Odd said.

"Yeah, it was murder at the office today." She said as she sat down at the dinner table as Odd placed a fat, juicy steak in front of her.

She sniffed the food and smiled.

"It smells so good! Where do you get such fresh meat?" She asked.

"That's my little secret." Odd said kissing her forehead.

"Oh, I almost forgot! Ulrich and Yumi are bringing their kid around for dinner tomorrow night for dinner is that okay?" Aelita asked.

"Of course. There's plenty to go around!" Odd smiled as Aelita cut into her tender, young, steak.

_  
And when I was young I wore my sister's clothes  
I liked to paint my nails and I had secrets no one knows  
But now that I'm grown up I cook dinner for my wife  
I still carry my secrets along with a butcher's knife!_


	2. I could always eat your brain Harley Poe

I could always eat your brain!

Ulrich stumbled down the street in a haze, he had a splitting headache and he didn't know why. He couldn't remember much except her. He could see her house ahead of him, he was almost there. He stumbled across the street as well as his stiff legs would carry him and smiled as some of the memories came back. Her parent's cars was gone, it was Friday so they were probably out having dinner.

_**Remember when we used to get Chinese? Or would you please just hear me out for a moment before I eat my tongue it all goes wrong.**_

Somehow, Ulrich managed to pull himself over the edge of Yumi's fence, landing in her back yard with a snap that wasn't that of a twig. He stared at the broken hand that hung from his wrist by a piece of skin from in bewilderment. He popped it back into place, pulled himself up to his feet, and hobbled by the side of her house. He stopped in his tracks as he passed a window and saw his reflection. His skin was bloated and gray, devoid of any color. His lips sagged revealing black and broken teeth. He had a massive dent in his head revealing pieces of rotted gray matter and skull fragments. He touched a withered hand to his face and shivered.

_**I know it wasn't your fault when your bowling ball smashed in my head,  
cause accidents they happen and I'm still alive though I should be dead!**_

_  
_He heard faint chattering above him and saw Yumi standing by the window on the second floor, talking on her cell-phone. Ulrich grabbed onto the gutter on the side of the house and began climbing up to Yumi's window.

_**I come to you tonight not to scare you or to give you fright, but to make sure that we're still an item and if possibly spend the night. Perhaps you sure you weren't sleeping in gives me a feeling deep within. I just come up from the ground if we fooled around would it be sin?**_

Ulrich pulled himself up to the window sill and watched Yumi, awestruck by her beauty. She still hadn't noticed him by the time she began to undress. She pulled her shirt off, a Sub-Sonics shirt that used to be Ulrich's, he'd given it to her after they'd been going out a month. She tossed it in a laundry hamper and pulled on a new shirt. Ulrich tried to tap on the window lightly but couldn't control his strength. He smashed the window open and rolled into Yumi's bedroom. She screamed and grabbed a baseball bat from beside her bed and brandished it, ready to strike.

"Oo-me, Is me, Oolrick." Ulrich groaned.

Yumi screamed and dropped the bat.

_**But wait, you know it almost seems that you're not happy to see me. My love that's brought me back to you so please tell me that you've been true. It seems that I've been gone so long my dear my love for you is strong! Death can't keep me away from you in your hands my heart belongs. **_

"Oo-me!" Ulrich groaned with his hands outstretched.

"Stay away from me!" Yumi screamed.

She ran through her bedroom door and down the stairs. Ulrich lumbered after her, out the front door, and into the street. A police cruiser turned the corner and flashed it's lights. Ulrich looked at Yumi pleadingly as she pointed at him and screamed to the police for help.

_**And I can see that you don't see the sparkle on my face, and I notice that you don't notice that my heart is still in place. So you're upset and you're crying and you're walking out the door, and I'm fine that you don't like me anymore! **_

Ulrich lay in his grave wondering what to do. He wanted to be in Yumi's arms again but he didn't know how he could do it. What was wrong with him? Was it the dead thing because being alive is over-rated anyway…

_**Now days have passed and so am I, no matter how I try and try. I just can't seem to win you back, maybe it's because of lack of hair, it's been falling out. I just can't get rid of this smell, no more hours of making out, why couldn't I've just have gone to Hell?**_

Ulrich lay back in his coffin and thought of all the good times he'd spent with her. She'd loved him at one point but now she couldn't stand the sight of him. He couldn't stand it anymore, he pulled himself out of his grave and started for her house. He spotted her across the street with…William?! Yumi smiled as she leaned forward and kissed William deeply. Ulrich's heart literally fell out at the sight of this and he felt himself die a second time.

_**Sex used to be so good and so was hanging out, now you're obviously sickened by me and I'm starting to doubt your love is true. Even though I'm dead I missed you every day but my skin is rotting off my body I'm starting to decay.**_

Ulrich gritted his sharp broken teeth and made up his mind. If she wanted monster, she'd get monster.

_**And I can see that you don't see the sparkle on my face. And I notice that you notice that my heart is out of place, so you're upset and you're crying and you're walking out the door, and I'm fine that you don't like me anymore!**_

Yumi woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of her phone ringing. To her delight, the ID read "WILLIAM". She opened it, disappointed to see it was merely a text.

_**Meet me in the graveyard**_ it read.

She smiled to herself and quickly dressed. She snuck out her recently replaced window and made for the cemetery across the street. She trudged across the dew soaked grass and found a headstone illuminated by several candles. She saw the back of William's head sticking out from behind the other side of it. She smiled and began to sneak up behind him.

"Peak-aboo!" She cried playfully as she wrapped her hands around William's eyes.

She gasped. Something felt wrong, no way it was William. She lifted whatever it was she wrapped her arms around up and screamed as Williams severed head stared back at her with un-winking eyes. She dropped the head and stumbled back into the open grave, landing in an open coffin. She looked up and read the inscription on the tombstone. _**Ulrich Stern friend, son, loving boyfriend.**_ A dark shadow was cast over her. She turned to see the decayed corpse of Ulrich standing above her. He looked like hell but felt a million times better after eating William's brain. Ulrich jumped down into the grave and stood in front of Yumi. He reached up and touched a dry hand to her cheek, her eyes grew wide in fear.

_**I'm giving you just one more chance to change your mind and take this dance. I wanna be the dead love slave, that's why I've risen from the grave. So take me as I am but if you don't I understand, but know this hasn't been in vain cause…**_

Ulrich growled at Yumi like an animal, a thing if he'd still been alive she would have thought to be sexy. She opened her mouth in a futile attempt to scream as she felt his hand clamp over her mouth.

_**I COULD ALWAYS EAT YOUR BRAIN!**_

I could always eat your brain!  
I could always eat your brain!  
I could always eat your brain!  
I could always eat your brain!

I could always eat your brain!  
You could always eat my brain!  
I could always eat your brain!  
You could always eat my brain!  
I could always eat your brain!  
You could always eat my brain!  
I could always eat your brain!

_**(CHOMP, SMACK)**_


	3. Rocky Horror Picture Show tribute

Tribute to the Rocky Horror Picture Show

This story covers the songs floor show, don't dream it, wild and untamed thing, and superheros. (now with I'm going home)

Odd adjusted the strap on his bra, he'd be going on soon and he wanted to be ready. Ulrich, Yumi, Jeremy, and Aelita had already taken their places on stage. This was the last talent show he'd ever enter at Kadic and he was going to blow them away.

"How did you talk me into this?!" Jeremy hissed.

"Oh come on Jer, it'll be fun." Aelita giggled.

"FUN?! This? Are you insane? We're going to get in so much troub-

"Shh! It's time!" Yumi said.

The curtains opened and a spotlight shinned on Aelita who was standing to the far left of the stage. The crowd gasped and giggled at her outfit, there were even a couple of wolf whistles. She was wearing a very revealing outfit that looked like an old fashioned cabaret stripper show lingerie. It was mostly pink, adorned with black feathers and tassels. Her fishnet stockings came up to her knees and her face had been painted like a geisha's. (One of Yumi's own personal touches).

Suddenly, a piano intro began and Aelita started to sing.

**It was great when it all began; I was a regular Frankie fan. But it was over when he had the plan to start a-workin' on a muscle man. **

She did a miraculous twirl and swooned back with her hand over her heart.

**Now the only thing that gives me hope is my love of a certain dope. Rose tints my world and keeps me safe from my trouble and pain.**

She froze in place as another spot-light clicked on revealing Ulrich standing to her immediate right. He was wearing a similar outfit to Aelita's, except for the feathers he had purple fur. Several girls squealed in delight as he started to dance. I hate you Odd. He thought.

**I'm just seven hours old. Truly beautiful to behold. And somebody should be told, my libido hasn't been controlled.**

The cries of the girls got louder as he waved his crotch at the audience. He took the long feather scarf off his neck and waved it to them teasingly.

**Now the only thing I've come to trust is an orgasmic rush of lust. Rose tints my world and keeps me safe from my trouble and pain.**

He froze next to Aelita as another spotlight shined down on Jeremy, causing the entire gymnasium to gasp. His outfit was identical to Ulrich's save for it being purple with pink fur.

"Is that Jeremy?" Several people exclaimed while several others laughed.

Jeremy was glad Yumi painted his face because it was beet red right now. He took in a deep breath and began to sing.

**It's beyond me, help me mommy. I'll be good, you'll see. Take these dreams away! What's this? You'll see…**

He stretched out on-stage and lifted his leg up past his head, making the computer club girls go crazy.

**I feel sexy! Oh, what's come over me?**

He rose to his feet and twirled around madly.

**Oh here it comes again!**

He froze at the furthest right corner of the stage as a light shined down on Yumi. Her outfit was black and lined with pink silk. Her hair was pulled back with chop-sticks and her heels looked like they'd be impossible to walk in. She squealed in delight and ran her hand through her hair.

**I feel released! Bad times deceased! My confidence has increased, reality is here!**

Her parents stared at her in horror as she danced around on stage.

**The game has been disbanded, my mind has been expanded. It's a gas that Odd has landed, his lust is so sincere.**

She winked at William in the audience and blew him a kiss. She stood next to Jeremy as the second set of curtains opened up behind them. Odd Dela Robia stood in the middle of the stage, wearing the most unusual, outlandish outfit out of the group. Purple and shiny, with gold sleeves and fishnet stocking that came to his thigh.

**Whatever happened to Fay Wray? **He sang quietly. **That delicate, satin draped frame. As it clung to her thigh, how I started to cry. Cause I wanted to be dressed just the same.**

He walked towards the front of the stage as the lighting changed to a pale blue.

**Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh. Erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you see it? Don't dream it- be it.**

Jim growled in anger backstage. He had Dela Robia now, no mistake about it. He fumbled for the lighting controls to stop the show, but he didn't know what to do to turn them off. He shrugged and began flipping switches at random.

Suddenly, the stage lit up with sparklers as Jim activated the trap Odd had set. Lights danced madly around the stage as Odd sang out.

**My my my, my my my my my, my my my my my-hi! I'm a wild and an untamed thing! I'm a bee with a deadly sting! Just a hit and your mind goes ping! Your heart'll pump and your blood will sing! So let the party and the sounds rock on, we're gonna shake it till the life has gone, rose tints my world keeps me safe from my trouble and pain!**

Jim cursed and flipped another switch. A disco ball lowered and light sparkled the stage as the five of them took hands and began dancing and singing together.

**We are wild and untamed things! We're a bee with a deadly sting! You get a hit and your mind goes ping, Your heart will pump and your blood will sing! So let the party and the sound rock on! We're gonna shake it till the life has gone, Rose tints my world keeps me safe from my trouble and pain!**

At this point, the teens abandoned any choreography they might have had and began dancing around the stage like idiots. The adults could only stare in horror as their children did vulgar pelvic thrust moves and the children cheered them on.

**We are wild and untamed things! We're a bee with a deadly sting! You get a hit and your mind goes ping, Your heart will pump and your blood will sing! So let the party and the sound rock on! We're gonna shake it till the life has gone-gone-gone, Rose tints my world keeps me safe from my trouble and pain!**

Suddenly, the doors to the gymnasium burst open and the principal stood in the doorway, campus security was on either side of him. To Odd's terror, his old principal was standing next to Delmas, staring at him in anger. Delmas pointed a finger at him and shouted over the music.

"Dela Robia, it's all over! Your grades have been a failure, your life styles too extreme!"

Odd's old principal motioned to himself and grinned t Odd wickedly.

"I'm your new principal, you are now my pupil! We return to Pennsylvania, prepare the scion green!" He pointed out the door to a hideous, green Scion, Odd's bags already inside.

"Wait!" Odd said. "I can explain!"

He leaned forward and whispered something in Ulrich's ear and then something in Yumi's ear. They nodded and set off in opposite directions. Ulrich commandeered a spot light and shinned it on Odd as Yumi switched the music. A gentle piano intro began as Odd sang quietly.

**On the day I went away. (Good-bye) Was all I had to say. (Now I) I want to come again and stay. (Oh my, my) Smile, and that will mean that I may. Cause I've seen oh blue skies, through the tears In my eyes And I realize… I'm going home.**

Aelita wiped a tear away and placed her hand over her mouth. The audience was quiet, giving Odd their full attention.

**Everywhere it's been the same... (feeling...) Like I'm outside in the rain... (wheeling...) Free, to try and find a game... (dealing...) Cards for sorrow, cards for pain. Cause I've seen blue skies through the tears In my eyes And I realize.. I'm going home. I'm going home, I'm going home.**

The song ended and Odd walked down the steps and down the aisle of the theatre. He stood in front of his principals and breathed in a heavy breath.

"I'm ready." He said.

"Odd, what's going on?" Aelita asked.

Odd sighed.

"I guess I should tell you guy's now. I've been expelled."

"What?! When?"

"Two days ago." Odd smiled sadly.

"Then why'd you enter the talent show?" Yumi asked.

He shrugged.

"I was bored."

"But why were you expelled?"

"His GPA dropped below 2.5, our curriculum must be preserved." Principal Delmas said.

Campus security led him out of the gymnasium in handcuffs. Odd glanced back at his friends and winked at them. The heavy doors slammed shut leaving them alone on the stage and feeling foolish. Ulrich sighed. He was going to miss his best friend Odd, the person who was almost like a super hero.

**I've done a lot, God knows I've tried. To find the truth, I've even lied. **He sang sadly.

**But all I know is down inside I'm bleeding**. Jeremy joined in.

Yumi walked next to Ulrich and put her hand on his shoulder in comfort.

**And Super Heroes come to feast; to taste the flesh not yet deceased. **She sang.

**And all I know, is still the beast is feeding**. Aelita finished.

They took their bows as the audience broke into applause. The curtain dropped as they walked off the stage sadly, not sure if they'd ever see their friend again.

*this is probably the dumbest story I've written in awhile but oh well. I love RHPS and CL so I decided to write this. If anyone has any song-fic request contact me and I'll get around to it eventually.

Snoogins.


	4. Hey Jude The Beatles

Jeremy felt sick. His head ached from hearing the horrid truth his stomach felt like it had been beaten black and blue.

_Hey jude, don't make it bad... take a sad song and make it better._

He couldn't understand it. He lived a life of logic; thinking like a scientist, always using reason to dictate his action. He was supposed to think wih his mind, not his heart so why did he feel the way he did?

_Remember to let her into your heart then you can start to make it better._

He knew she wasn't particularly special. She wasn't a divine goddess, no earth bound angel among mortals. She was human just like everyone else right... Then how come he hadn't slept in three days...

_Hey Jude, don't be affraid. You were made to go out and get her..._

It was about three days ago, he had heard that the love of his life, the woman he wanted to spend every second of every day around, had "been" with another man before him.

"It's no big deal..." He said to himself. "It doesn't change the way i feel about her..."

He glanced over at him alarm clock. 3:34 AM.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" He thought.

_The minute, you let her under your skin, then you begin to make it better._

The only person he could talk to about his problem had said,

"You may not think you see her as some perfect being but in your heart she's the most beautiful thing on this planet." She said. "I'd be surprised if you weren't upset about it. You really love her Jer. I promise things'll get better."

Jeremy smiled at the pink haired girl and thanked her for her advice. He didn't feel any better.

_And any time you feel the pain, hey jude refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders._

Jeremy's phone began to ring. He glanced over at the caller ID and felt his stomach drop. It was her. He stared at the phone untill it stopped ringing and "one missed call" appeared on the screen.

"I can't do it." He muttered. "I can't bring myself to face her."

_For well you know that it's a fool, who plays it cool by making his world a little colder._

Hours passed untill the sun finally rose, casting a pale light through the shades of his bedroom window. He'd finally made up his mind. He knew what he was going to do.

_Hey Jude, don't let me down. You have found her now go and get her. Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better._

Jeremy got dressed quickly and grabbed his keys from the little bowl on his night stand. He got into his car, brought the engine to life and began to drive.

_So let it out and let it in, hey Jude begin, you're waiting for someone to preform with._

He lived a life of logic, so he was going to do the most logical thing he could think of.

_And don't you know that it's just you, hey Jude you'll do. The movment you need is on your shoulder._

He parked his car in the parking lot of the college and got out. By the doors, Yumi was waiting for him by the front door, thuming hrough her IPOD, killing time. He picked up the pace and walked up to her. She looked up and smiled.

"Morning." She said.

"Morning." He said back.

"Something wrong?" She asked. "You seem a bit off."

"No I'm fine. Hey do me a favor? Take my research notes to Docter Carter for me? I gotta do something."

"Oh. Okay. See you." She said taking the small jump drive he had handed her.

She walked away as Jeremy entered the student building. He walked up to the small Starbuck's Coffee inside the building and took a deep breath as he approached the girl working behind it. She glanced up and beamed brightly at him.

"Hey baby. I tried calling you earlier. I figured you'd still be up working on you notes."

"Hey Sissy." Jeremy said calmly. "No i passed out around 2." He lied.

"Oh. You've been working so hard lately i'm glad you finally got some rest at least."

"We still good for tonight?" Jeremy asked.

Sissy nodded.

"I can't wait." She smiled.

Jeremy nodded at her, leaned over the counter to kiss her and exited the student building. He smiled to himself as the tension went away and was replaced by the feeling he felt when he first started dating her.

_Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better. Better better better better better better oh!_

_Na na na na na, na na na Hey Jude..._


	5. Zombie Prostitute Voltaire

Zombie Prostitute

Ulrich walked down the dark city sidewalk. His hands shoved deep in his pockets and his head phones blasting a generic self loathing teen angst song. Yumi had made up her mind and had been dating William for about a week now. In the past week she had broken his heart, caused Aelita and Jeremy to fight, alienate him from his fellow classmates after he declared his love for her in the middle of class, and made him hate facebook. Ulrich broke pace as he spotted the cemetery gates to his right. It was an old bone yard, he wasn't even sure if people were still buried there or if there were any surviving family members to come and visit the current occupants. There, on the old iron fence, a sign swayed in the late night breeze. Ulrich approached it and turned it to face him.

_I was alone and I needed a date. I was taking a walk past the cemetery gate when I saw a sign that said for a good time, take a left down at tombstone number eight. _

Ulrich looked to the left and right of him. There was no one else on the street and no traffic in the street.

"Can this be for real?" He thought. "No way..."

The sign looked relatively new. It was scrawled in deep purple with a coffin standing up straight. The door of the coffin was ajar slightly and a hand was stretched out making the "come here" gesture.

Ulrich looked around again and took a deep breath. There was no way in hell he could feel any worse than he did now. Maybe this would help. Ulrich pushed open the gates of the cemetery which shrieked in protest. As he closed the gate behind him the ground next to him began to shake. Two scrawny arms exploded from the earth and a the corpse of what may have once been a man pulled him/her/itself out of the ground.

"For god's sake keep that racket down! I'm trying to sleep!" He snapped, his breath ragged and reeking with decades of decay.

"S-sorry!" Ulrich sputtered.

The corpse flipped Ulrich off and crawled back into his grave, muttering something along the lines of "damn smooth skins."

_Went through the gateway, and I'm pretty sure I saw some eyes peepin' at me through the sepultura. Why is _

Ulrich stumbled through the darkness of the graveyard, still shaking at what he had just seen. As he went further down the aisles of tombstones and statues he saw that it wasn't just the one but dozens of the undead were walking around here. They were talking, laughing, yawning and a few even danced and played instruments. Eventually Ulrich found what he was looking for. A mausoleum that was incredibly old and decrepit. Outside the mausoleum doors was zombie woman wearing a tattered black dress and smoking a cigarette out of a long black filter.

_I took a step towards the tomb of ill repute, that's were I met her, the zombie prostitute._

She took a look at Ulrich and said in a vaguely cockney accent, "Whatchoo want?"

"Uh- the sign? Outside? Is this uhm-?"

"You looking for a good time?" She rasped.

She took a drag off of her cigarette and the smoke escaped from the space between her ribs and the openings in her cheeks. Her flesh was blueish gray and appeared as if it had been stretched over her bones. Her hair was long and black, matted down and tangled in a literal example of a rats nest. Her eyes were glazed over and seemed to gaze at everything but see nothing.

"Uh- I think this is a bad idea."

"Nonsense. I can see that lonely look in your eye. Once I work my magic on a man he's never the same again." She said seductively

"W-wha?"

"Once you go dead you can never go back honey. You can take my word on that. New comer's get a taste free."

"Well... fine"

_Do I have anything else to loose? _Ulrich thought as he followed her inside.

"You ready?" She asked.

"Yeah." Ulrich said as they embraced.

_I grabbed her left breast and I'm pretty sure I tore it. I said go down but she didn't have the stomach for it._

"I'm not a whore!" She sneered.

"Sorry. Sorry. I'm kinda new at this." Ulrich sputtered.

_Her teeth fell out and her tongue fell out to boot. But all in all she was a rotten kind of cute._

"Relax kid" She cooed in his ear. "Let me take care of it."

_Well I was tense it was plain to see, a sort of rigor mortis was coming over me. I didn't want to see it but I just had to believe it._

"Oh my!" she gasped.

_I had a stiffy for the stiff in front of me._

_ Morally i'm destitute in the tomb of ill repute, she's a rotten kind of cute for a zombie prostitute._

_ -_one minute and five seconds later-

"Feel better?" She asked as Ulrich tied his shoes.

"Not really."

"Give my magic time to sink in." she said lighting a cigarette. "Now piss off. I got other clients."

Ulrich sighed and stormed out of the tomb where there was a line of undead johns outside. Ulrich returned home and crawled into his bed feeling exhausted.

"Odd? You up?"

"Sort of." Odd muttered back. "What?"

"... I lost my virginity."

"Cool."

The next morning Ulrich woke up and wandered into the bathroom to take a shower. He got into a stall and turned on the water. As he scrubbed himself down he felt... strange. Not internally, externally and when he glanced down at himself he saw hunks of his flesh falling off of his body and landing on the tile floor with a sickening plop. He screamed and tumbled backward out of the stall. He whipped around and saw his reflection in the mirror. He screamed even louder.

_Now i'm falling apart from my head down to my toes I don't know which of my organs is the next to go._

Ulrich heard footsteps coming down the hall and he quickly pulled on a robe and wrapped his towel around his face. He just finished binding the towel when Odd and Jeremy walked in.

"Hey Ulrich did we hear you scream just now?" Jeremy asked.

"Uh n-no that was uh... someone else..." Ulrich rasped.

"Huh. Weird." Odd said.

"Ulrich you feel okay?" Jeremy asked. "You don't sound so hot."

" I think i'm sick with something." Ulrich muttered. "I'm going to see the nurse."

"Okay. See you later." Odd said.

Ulrich darted out of the bathroom and ran down the hall. He raced out the doors and out the gates of school, blowing right past Jim and ignoring the shouts of anger that emanated from his mouth afterwords. Ulrich ran into the cemetery and banged on the mausoleum door. A second passed and it creaked open. She glanced at him in confusion and then smiled.

"My you turned quick. You must have fuck all for willpower eh?" she said.

"Turn me back!" Ulrich said.

"Come on now honey, surely you're kidding. You're dead. And rotting at that."

"Liar!" Ulrich roared.

She sighed and rolled her eyes as one would do if explaining some simple mundane fact to a child.

"You're gone Ulrich. Dead as a doornail. Deader than a missing school girl."

"How? Why!"

"I gave you what you wanted." She replied. "No pain. No emotion. Just your raw basic instinct." she replied.

"But-"

"Just think about it for a second and I mean really think about it. How you feel now as opposed to how you often felt around this heart breaking tramp of yours."

Ulrich opened his mouth to argue when he paused. She was absolutely right. All his interest in Yumi ever brought him was pain and self loathing. Now he felt... nothing. Like being asleep but vaguely conscious of your surroundings. He thought back to his time with Yumi and felt no pain nor anger. No sorrow or remorse. He felt nothing but peace.

"Oh god..." He muttered.

"Yeah yeah. Liberating ain't it?"

"I feel one thing though..." Ulrich started.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah..." If Ulrich had any blood flowing through his body his face would have been red by now with the feelings swarming through his body.

"Oh yeah. That. See a lot of people think that a zombie's most basic instinct is to feed. Not true."

"You- you mean."

"Yep."

_I've been such a sleaze since she gave me the disease. Wouldn't you know now I'm a zombie gigolo._

"What do I do now?" Ulrich asked.

"Start taking clients." she said. I got some one you can meet tonight and you can stay in the coffin next to mine till you get your own plot."

"Thanks." Ulrich said. "But I don't even know your name."

"Call me Lilly." she said

-Later-

"Oh thanks so much for taking me out tonight." Mrs. Hertz said. "It's been ages since I got out an had some fun."

"No problem" Ulrich said.

"You seem familiar" Mrs. Hertz said. "I don't meet a lot of zombies..."

_I took my first client out on a date. We took a walk to the cemetery gate._

"I get that a lot." Ulrich said.

"So... are we going to do this?"

"You got twenty bucks?" Ulrich asked.

"Yes."

"Then yes."

Ulrich led Mrs. Hertz to his new plot and laid her down in the hole.

_I got under her slip, but then, I heard a rip._

Ulrich glanced down. He sighed struggled to reconnect the two pieces. Defeated he held the two pieces out and apologized.

_ I pulled it out, and I said-_  
"Baby keep the tip." Ulrich said.

_Morally, I'm destitute, In the Tomb of Ill repute. She's a rotten kinda cute for a zombie __prostitute._

**A/N: ….I'm going to hell aren't I?**


	6. The Boogeyman Todd Rollins

The Boogeyman- Todd Rollins

In the infinite darkness of cyber space, XANA stirred. He reached out with a clawed hand and took control over a tower. He was on the attack. In her dorm room at Kadic Aelita felt a tingle on the back of her neck. She felt a sense of dread wash over her in cold wave. She felt as if she was being watched.

_Boo! I'm the boogeyman! The terrible horrible boogeyman!_

She turned around saw a shadow manifesting itself in the darkness.

"XANA!" She gasped.

_I come in the middle of the night and frighten bad little girls like you._

The cloud of dark smoke sped towards her making her close her eyes and let out a scream. She expected something painful but when she opened her eyes she saw that she was fine.

"W-what?"

She looked over at her bed and saw her favorite childhood toy Mr. Puck. His head slowly turning towards her, his eyes flickering with the eye of XANA. He began to grow taller and change, his face going from the cheerful elf to a hideous monster.

"Oh no!" Aelita gasped.

She ran for the door and pulled it open.

"Jeremy!" She screamed.

_Beware, better have a care. I'm going to follow you everywhere!_

The hallway was dark and abandoned, seeming to stretch for eternity in either direction. She took off running down the right side of the hall towards the boys rooms, having to duck and dodge out of the way as ghostly clawed arms made from black smoke reached out, trying to grab her. She felt their cold clammy grip on her legs and arms, trying to pull her into the wall with them.

_I crawl through the ceiling and walls to call on bad little girls like you!_

"Jeremy!" Aelita sobbed as she made it to his door and began banging on it. "Jeremy please!"

The door unlocked and Aelita busted in slamming the door behind her.

"Jeremy! It's XANA! He's launched an attack!"

Jeremy was sitting in front of his computer screen typing up a storm.

"Jeremy!" Aelita pleaded. "Are you listening to me?

She placed her hand on Jeremy's shoulder to get his attention when suddenly Jeremy's head swung all the way around, his face was pale and his mouth twisted into a terrible sneer, the eye of XANA glaring at her behind his glasses.

"NO!" Aelita screamed stumbling back as Jeremy approached her.

He grabbed her by the throat and pinned her against the wall.

"J-Jeremy please!" Aelita begged.

_I'll torture you and haunt you, I got you were I want you, a victim of my dark and dirty plot! And at the slightest whim, I'll tear you limb from limb in other words I'll put you on the spot!_

Aelita gagged and chocked as she felt his grip tightening on her throat, Jeremy's face becoming more and more distorted and demonic as his pleasure in her suffering increased. Aelita felt the last few gasp of her breath escape from her mouth and everything went black, her hands dropping down to her side and dangling limply.

_Boo! I'm the boogeyman! The terrible horrible boogeyman!_

Aelita awoke drenched in a cold sweat. She was in her room safe and sound. It was late at night and she had been having a nightmare. She looked at the shelf above her head and saw Mr. Puck looking down at her. He's wasn't a monster possessed by XANA. He was just her favorite childhood toy. She picked him up off the shelf and held him close to her as she tried to stop shaking and go back to sleep.

"It was just a dream." She told herself. "Just a dream."

_I come in the middle of the night and frighten bad little girls like you._

_A/N: I'm a fan of all music and I really like the old, big band and swing kind of music. This song is one of those and I realized I don't think I've ever seen a fic like one of these so I decided to write one. This song is short but really creepy so I thought it'd be a good one._


	7. Corrupting my better half Harley Poe

Corrupting my better half- Harley Poe

"Yumi?" Ulrich asked. "I wanted to ask you something."

"What is it Ulrich?"

Ulrich had a strange feeling in his stomach. It wasn't a feeling he was used to.

_The cutest girl I ever saw did I love her._

Ulrich took a deep breath nervously twirling the metal circular ring in his pocket.

"Will you marry me?" Ulrich asked quickly holding out the ring to her.

Yumi's eyes grew wide in surprise. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. When Ulrich had asked to meet her here in the abandoned factory this was the last thing she expected him to ask her.

"Yes." She said gazing at the modest gold diamond ring. "Yes!"

_Then why'd I go and do something so cruel?_

She leapt into his arms and began kissing him. Things had gone down hill since her parents finally divorced and she had been hinting to him for several months that she wanted to escape from this town.

"When can we leave?" She asked in between a kiss.

"Tonight."

_I married her on that summer day did she love me?_

_Well she said yes so she must have been a fool_

"So soon?" Yumi asked. "why?"

"I can't stay here anymore." Ulrich said quickly.

Yumi gave him a quizzical look, not understanding what he meant.

"Besides." He said brushing back a flock of her raven hair. "I thought that's what you wanted. There's a chapel north of here. We can be married before sunrise."

"Okay." Yumi smiled.

They left that night, Yumi packing a single bag and leaving a note on her brothers dresser telling her she was sorry. They jumped into Ulrich's car and never looked back. A few hours later Ulrich carried her into the room of a cheap motel and dropped her on the bed. She pulled him down on top of her and began covering his face with kisses.

"Now Ulrich." She begged. "I want you now."

"Wait, Yumi." Ulrich protested pulling away from her. "I need to tell you something."

"What is it?" She asked sitting up.

_On our honey moon night instead of making sweet love_

_I sat her down and confessed my true history_

"Yumi, you know I love you more than anything else in this world right?" Ulrich asked.

"Yes and I love you too." Yumi said. "what's this about?"

"You know how I've always had a problem with my anger right?" Ulrich asked.

"Ulrich everyone has demons." Yumi said smiling. "Now come here so I can show you mine."

She leaned forward and started to pull off his shirt and kiss his neck.

"Yumi I murdered my mom and dad yesterday." Ulrich said staring at the mirror in front of the bed.

Yumi stopped and stared at his reflection, her mouth open slightly in shock.

_I said baby I love you and I hope you know you're a gift from above_

_But I killed twenty men and the cops are after me_

"W-What?" Yumi asked horrified.

"My dad wouldn't let us get married. He forbid me from seeing you because he didn't think you were good enough to be part of the family. So I killed him. Then my mom because she walked in. That's her ring you're wearing."

"Ulrich…" Yumi said her eyes filling with tears,

She threw her arms around him from the back and embraced him.

"I can't believe you did that for me."

_Well she said that's okay I don't care dear cause I love you anyway_

_Honey a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do so be strong and be brave_

"Y-you're not scared? Or horrified?" Ulrich asked shocked by her response.

"You did what you had to do so we could be together. I probably would have done the same thing. I see why you wanted to leave so soon. We have to be extremely careful now though. We'll get through this together. As long as we have each other nothing will tear us apart."

_Well I'll try,_

_You know I'll try._

"We should probably leave tonight." Ulrich said. "Get farther away."

Yumi nodded and the two of them grabbed their bags and left the hotel, not bothering to check out. They drove for hours until Ulrich found an old cabin in the woods. It was abandoned and was full of dusty, moth eaten furniture.

_And god said it is good and man and women should become one and be fruitful well we would if we could._

"Our first home." Yumi said sweetly kissing him.

_But we're running from the law and we're living in a shack and I'm gonna burn in hell for corrupting my better half._

"There was a gas station a few miles down the road." Ulrich said. "I'm going to get some gas and some supplies."

"I'll come with you." Yumi opted.

_Cruising down the freeway, going ninety five._

Ulrich drove down the road, windows rolled down and the music blaring on the radio. They arrived at the gas station and Ulrich got out and fixed the nozzle so it would pump automatically while he was inside.

"You want anything specific?"

"Chocolate cherries?" Yumi asked sweetly.

"Anything for you." He said with a smile.

_We're robbing convenience stores and trying to stay alive_

He walked inside the gas station and Yumi waited in the car listening to the radio. A few minutes later she heard a gunshot from inside the gas station causing her to jump. She looked out the window with a frightened look on her face and spotted Ulrich running out of the gas station holding a bag in one hand and a handgun in the other, a spatter of blood across his shirt. He jumped into the driver seat and turned the ignition.

"Ulrich, what the hell happened?" Yumi cried as the engine roared to life.

"He recognized my face. The cops are looking for us!" Ulrich said as he swerved out of the parking lot. "I had to kill him, he was going to call the police!"

"Okay, I believe you. Let's just get home."

After they got back to the cabin, Ulrich hid the car in the woods and closed all of the shades in the house. He held his head in his hands not knowing what they would do.

_I'm sorry I shot that man back there could you ever forgive me_

_For bringing you into my life when I should have left you be_

"Ulrich?" Yumi said gently as she sat down on the arm rest of the chair. "It's okay."

She ran a hand through his brown hair and held him against her chest.

"You did what you had to do to keep us safe."

_And she said that's okay I don't care dear cause I love you anyway._

_Honey a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do so be strong and be brave_

_Well, I'll try_

_You know I'll try_

They went into the bedroom and laid down on the bed. Ulrich held Yumi in his arms and watched her sleep, eventually drifting off himself.

_And god said it is good and man and woman should be one and be fruitful well we would if we could but we're running from the law and we're living in a shack and I'm gonna burn in hell for corrupting my better half._

Ulrich awoke to the sound of sirens and the flashing of red and blue lights outside the bedroom window.

"Damn!" He exclaimed jumping out of bed.

He pulled back the curtains slightly and saw four police cars and a GIPN van with armed officers getting out.

"Ulrich what's going on?" Yumi asked sitting up.

"Ulrich Stern, this is the police. You and Yumi Ishiyama have five minutes to come out and surrender or we are coming in after you!" A voice on a megaphone shouted.

"Come on!" Ulrich said grabbing Yumi by the hand and leading her into the living room.

They entered the kitchen and Ulrich pulled open the back door. He drew his handgun and stepped outside almost bumping into a police officer.

"Freeze!" The officer said aiming a shotgun.

Ulrich raised his handgun and fired, hitting the cop in the chest and killing him.

"Run!" Ulrich said grabbing Yumi and the dead police officer's shotgun. They ran together through the trees. Behind him he could hear the police opening fire at the two of them, missing them but tearing the trees around them to pieces. They seemed to run forever, eventually making it to a clearing in the middle of the forest with a lake in the center of it.

"We can rest here." Ulrich said panting.

"Ulrich?" Yumi said softly.

"What?"

Ulrich turned to see Yumi slouching. She was holding her stomach and grimacing from pain as dark red blood oozed from between her fingers.

_The cops found our hide out and they shot her. Why'd they go and do something so cruel?_

"Yumi? Yumi!" Ulrich shouted diving to her side as she fell to her knees.

She coughed up blood, flecking it across Ulrich's face.

"Ulrich, stay with me please." She begged. Her voice soft, barely a whisper.

"Come on." He begged. "You got to get up. We gotta get you help!"

She shook her head slowly and started hacking again. Ulrich carried her over to the lake and cupped some water in his hand and poured it in her mouth.

"You gotta go." She said quietly as the sound of foot steps came closer to them. "Keep running."

"Not without you." Ulrich said biting back tears. "Never without you!"

"Please?" She asked.

She placed her hand on the back of his head and pulled Ulrich's lips down to hers kissing him one last time. When Ulrich pulled away from her, her eyes had glazed over, devoid of any signs of life.

_She died in my arms I had to leave her. I'm sorry my love for being such a fool._

Ulrich laid Yumi's arms across her chest and rose shakily to his feet. He whipped the tears from his eyes and ran through the darkness of the forest.

_And she said that's okay I don't care dear cause I love you anyway._

_Honey a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do so be strong and be brave_

_Well, I'll try_

_Oh Jesus you know I'll try._

One month later Ulrich was sitting in his new hideout cleaning one of the many guns he had gotten from the money he had been making by knocking over every bank and convenience store from Paris to Berlin.

_And god said it is good that man and women should become one and be fruitful well I would if I could but I'm running from the law and I'm living in shack and I'm going to burn in hell for corrupting my better half._

Outside his new safe house Ulrich heard the familiar slamming of car doors and cocking of weapons. Emotionlessly he rose to his feet and walked towards the front door.

"Ulrich Stern!" A voice outside the safe house bellowed on a megaphone. "We know you are in there!"

Ulrich loaded a fresh clip into the tommy gun and chambered a round. He was feeling nostalgic.

"We are giving you to the count of three to come out or we are opening fire!"

Ulrich popped his neck and glanced down at the gold diamond ring on a silver chain around his neck.

"Three!….Two!…One!"

Ulrich opened fire with the tommy gun firing from the hip, the armor piercing rounds tearing through the brittle wood off the hide out. Outside he could hear screams of pain and shouts of surprise. He fired until the fifty round drum mag was empty. He dropped the tommy gun and grabbed a whippit gun he had stashed above the door frame and kicked the bullet riddled door open with ease, stepping out onto the front porch. In the sunlight the remaining GIPN guys scrambled to get a bead on him. In the past month Ulrich hadn't shaved or gone a single day sober so he couldn't feel more than a slight prick as their bullets pierced his shirtless form. He didn't bother aiming as he returned fire with the whippit gun, the 12-gauge shells blasting dents in the armored cars and tearing through the body armor of the GIPN officers. The whippit gun clicked empty and Ulrich let it drop to the wooden porch with a clatter. He reached in his back waistband and drew his snub nose revolver and snapped off a few rounds before a bullet from a officers assault rifle tore through his stomach, the same place where Yumi had been hit several weeks ago.

_and I'm going to burn in hell_

Ulrich fell to his knees and felt his body go numb as blood pumped from his bullet wounds.

_For_

A small smile crept across his mouth as he fell forward on the porch in a pool of his own blood and the remaining officers slowly moved towards him with guns at the ready. The last thing he heard was an officer saying something into a radio and the last thing he saw was Yumi smiling sadly at him as the darkness that had haunted him all of his life finally took him.

_killing my better half._


	8. Death Death! Voltaire

Death, Death (Devil, devil, devil, devil, evil, evil, evil, evil)

Yumi sat next to her grandmother and held her hand. She was not long for this world and had requested to see her granddaughter one last time.

_My granny while on her death bed. She turned and said to me-_

"_Why must you view life so morbidly?" _She asked softly. _"I tried to teach you right, but somewhere I went wrong. Cause you sing those death death devil devil evil evil songs."_

"Sobo." Yumi said squeezing her grandmothers hand.

Yumi felt her grandmother's hand go limp. Tears streamed down Yumi's eyes as her grandmother breathed her final breath and passed away. Two days later Yumi stood in the graveyard with her family, sobbing over her grandmothers tombstone.

_When six pallbearers put her down and laid her body in the ground. My eyes were red, my face was very long_

The priest approached them, holding his bible in one hand and an acoustic guitar in the other.

_The pastor said "Hon* here you are, Won't you please take this guitar. Sing dear departed Granny one last song"_

"I am so sorry for your loss." He said to the Ishiyama family. "Yumi-san, you play the guitar right? I was wondering if you would play one last song for grandmother's memory?"

"I don't know…" Yumi said softly.

"Please Yumi?" Her mother asked. "She often wanted to hear you play but you never would."

"I thought she hated my taste in music?" Yumi asked.

"She hated the music but she loved you honey." Her father said.

Yumi was on the verge of breaking down crying all over again. With a shaking hand she took the guitar from the priest and stood in front of her grandmothers grave. She strummed a few notes, testing it out and took a deep breath.

_And I sang-_

"_Death, death! Devil, devil, devil, devil evil, evil, evil, evil songs!" _Yumi sang as she played the guitar. _"Hell you know that's how I get along! The world is full of tragedy so how can it be wrong? Singing death, death, death, death, devil, devil, evil, evil songs!"_

Her parents looked at her in horror, her dad scowling at her while her mom broke into tears.

"You asked." Yumi said defensively.

A month later Yumi was at the mall shopping. Her favorite store, Hot Topic was having a sale and she wanted to get a Twilight shirt to burn. She paid for her purchase and turned to leave.

_When I was shopping at Hot Topic and I was walking out the door_ On her way out Yumi bumped into some people she knew from school. Anais Fiquet and Priscilla Blaise. The bag she was holding fell to the ground.

"Oh sorry." Yumi apologized.

The two girls looked at the outfit Yumi was wearing and the bags on the ground.

_When two dumb jocks came up to me They said- _

_"Hey dyke* it ain't Halloween" _Priscilla said with a smirk.

Priscilla and Anais walked past her, kicking her bag as they went and knocking her new clothes all over the place._ And they kicked my lipstick to the floor._

They laughed as they departed leaving Yumi to pick up the mess herself. She wanted nothing more than to run after them and drown their scrawny asses in the fountain but instead she took in a deep breath and sang quietly to herself.

_And I sang-_

"_Death death, devil devil devil devil, evil evil evil evil songs. Hell you know that's how I get along. The world is full of idiots so how can it be wrong? Singing death death death death devil devil evil evil songs."_

That Sunday she decided to go to church with her family. She even wore a decent dress. It was a gothic Lolita style dress but it was still a dress none the less.

_When I went down to church on Sunday I sat up front in a pew._

The preacher began his sermon when he spotted Yumi staring up at him. His jaw dropped and he cleared his throat.

_The priest said- _"_Jesus and Mary too hon* what the devil's got into you? Get up and sing a hymn or two."_ Yumi looked over at her parents who had looked down at their feet covering their faces in shame. Her brother Hiroki smiled and gave her the thumbs up sign.

_And I sang-_

"_Death death, devil devil devil devil, evil evil evil evil songs." _Yumi sang. "_And you know that's how I get along. The world's full of hypocrisies so how can it be wrong? Singing death death death death, devil devil, evil evil songs."_

At Kadic, it was announced that the music department that she was in was having a contest. The winner would receive an invitation to a presidential music appreciation ceremony where they would receive an award for originality. Three months later she received a letter from the president in the mail along with four airplane tickets.

_When I was invited to the White House_

"We are so proud of you honey." Yumi's mom said smiling. "To think my daughter meeting the president of the United States!"

They were sitting in the dining room of the white house waiting on their host.

"What's taking him so long?" Hiroki asked. "I'm starving!"

"The president is a very busy man son." Mr. Ishiyama said. "He's has to run an entire country you know."

The doors to the dining room opened and the president walked in. The other guest from all over the world clapped their hands as he walked over to his chair and sat down.

"I'd like to welcome everyone here. It is my great honor to introduce the winner of the presidential music appreciation contest, You-me Ishiyamma.*"

_The president pulled me aside. He said-_

_"Hon* sing us a song of peace for those evil-doers in the Middle East."_

Yumi sighed.

_I rolled my eyes and kicked this rhyme. I sang- _

"_Death death, devil devil devil devil, evil evil evil evil songs. Hell you know that's how I get along." _Yumi sang.

"Damn it Yumi!" Her father said banging on the table. _"The world is full of W's So how can it be wrong? Singing death death death death Devil devil evil evil songs."_ Years later Yumi was on her death bed. Ulrich sat next to her holding her hand as her children sobbed. She smiled softly and closed her eyes one last time.

_Well then I died and went to Hell. I could tell right away by the awful smell that this was clearly not the pearly gates._ When she opened her eyes she saw molten seas of fire and blood as far as the eye could see. Before her was a massive throne of human skulls. Atop it sat a mighty red skinned demon, next to him on a smaller throne was Saddam Hussein. A wave of terror washed over Yumi as the devil grinned wickedly at her.

_The devil said- _

"_Come here Ne-san*. My wife and I are your biggest fans!"_

_So naturally I felt I had it made._

Yumi sighed in relief and laughed nervously.

"Come here!" Lucifer said rising from his throne. "I want to show you something."

_Well then he reached into an iron chest. And he picked the tool that he felt was best._

Satan quickly turned around and thrust forward with something in his hand. Yumi screamed as she felt a searing hot pain erupt in her body. _And then he jabbed me in the shlong with a pitchfork that had sharpened prongs!He turned to me and winked and sang this song. He sang-_

"_Death death, devil devil devil devil, evil evil evil evil songs!" _Satan sang giving the pitchfork a twist. _"Yeah I know that's how you got along! I find your songs hilarious but now your soul's precarious! Singing your death death death death devil devil evil evil songs!"_

Yumi sobbed as Satan burst out laughing and slapped her on the back playfully.

"_I'm just kidding kid welcome to Hell. Enjoy the buffet!" _He chuckled.

With that Yumi, Satan and Saddam began to sing together.

"_Death death, devil devil devil devil, evil evil evil evil songs! Hell you know that's how we get along! The world is full of sinners so how can it be wrong? Singing death death death death, devil devil, evil evil songs!"_

*Hon- here I replaced the original lyric "son" with "hon" since Yumi is a girl.

*Dyke- replaced "fag" with this.

*You-me Ishiyamma- Bush's pronunciation of Yumi's name. Ishiyama = Ish-ee-yam-ma

*Nesan- Japanese word for "Big sister". Replaced with young man.

Hope you enjoyed it. Read and Review!

This was the song "death death, devil, devil, devil, devil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil" by Voltaire on his album "To the bottom of the sea."


End file.
